Back to School Anxiety Is More Common Than Most Parents Realise

child and teen mental healthanxiety
Written By Rachel Williams

Term 3 started this week across Queensland state schools, and in a lot of households the return has come with more resistance than relief.   Some kids bounced back into the routine without a fuss.   Others cried at the school gate, complained of a sore stomach that cleared up the moment they were allowed to stay home, or simply refused to get dressed.   If that sounds familiar, you are probably not dealing with a defiant child.   You are dealing with anxiety, and it is far more common than most parents expect.

Why the return can hit so hard

The shift from unstructured holiday time back into early alarms, deadlines and social demands is a genuine adjustment, not a minor one.   Two weeks off routine is enough for sleep patterns, screen habits and daily rhythm to loosen right up.   Add the social pressure of walking back into a classroom, friendship dynamics that may have shifted over the break, or unfinished assignments waiting on a desk, and it makes sense that some children brace rather than settle.

For children who already lean anxious, or who are autistic or have ADHD and find transitions harder to process, the jump back into structure can feel less like an ordinary Monday and more like a wall.

Reluctance, or something more

Most kids grumble about school on a Sunday night, and that is ordinary and usually settles within a day or two.   School refusal is different.   It describes a child whose distress about attending school is severe enough to genuinely stop them going, not because they are choosing to skip, but because the anxiety has grown bigger than they can manage (Parliament of Australia, n.d.).

Recent Australian estimates suggest school refusal affects up to five per cent of students, with numbers climbing since the pandemic (Parliament of Australia, n.d.).   A national survey of more than a thousand parents found that thirty nine per cent said their child had been unable to attend school at some point in the past year because of anxiety or stress (The Educator, 2025).   This is not a fringe issue.   It is sitting quietly inside a huge number of Australian families.

Signs worth paying attention to

A few patterns are worth noticing, particularly if they last more than a week or two (Be You, n.d.; headspace, n.d.):

  • Ongoing headaches, nausea or stomach pain with no medical cause, especially on school mornings

  • Crying, panic or pleading to stay home that continues day after day

  • Trouble falling asleep the night before school, or waking early with a sense of dread

  • Withdrawing from friends, activities or things they used to enjoy

  • Big emotional outbursts around getting ready for school or being dropped off

What tends to help

Small, steady steps usually work better than one big conversation.   A predictable morning routine, even if it starts a little earlier than the household would like, gives an anxious child something solid to hold onto (headspace, n.d.).   Reconnecting with a school friend before the first day back, rather than on it, takes some of the social pressure off that first morning (headspace, n.d.).

Talking about what is worrying them, without rushing to fix it or brush it off, matters more than most parents expect.   Kids who feel heard are more likely to tell you what is actually going on, whether that is a friendship problem, a fear of falling behind, or something at school they have not mentioned yet.

If the distress is intense, frequent, or does not ease after a couple of weeks, it is worth bringing in a professional rather than waiting it out.   A psychologist can help a child build the skills to manage anxious thoughts and physical symptoms, and can work alongside families and schools on a plan that actually suits the child in front of them.   At Valentia Health, our neurodiverse-informed therapists work with children from age six, as well as teens and their families, to make transitions like this one more manageable, whether the underlying anxiety is generalised, social, or connected to a diagnosis such as autism or ADHD.

If school mornings have turned into a daily battle in your house, you do not have to work it out alone.   Valentia Health offers in-person appointments in Taringa, close to Indooroopilly, Toowong and Auchenflower, as well as telehealth sessions for families anywhere in Australia.   A Mental Health Care Plan from your GP may make you eligible for a Medicare rebate on sessions.   Visit valentiahealth.com.au to find out more or to book an appointment.

This post is for general informational purposes and is not a substitute for professional psychological advice. If you are in crisis, please contact Lifeline on 13 11 14 or call 000.

References

Rachel Williams
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